Fits: Working with a Passionate Child

I have a passionate child. I mean passionate.

She has a flare for the dramatic. From the moment she was born she was emotional. You should have heard the cries, I felt like my ears were about to bleed.

Now let me just say this now. I am not downing my daughter. I love her to pieces. We have a bond that is very unique and I would not trade it in for anything.

That being said, it was very difficult in the beginning… long nights, even longer days.

Then the toddler years came. When she was upset she and started to cry it would frequently get to the point where she turned blue and purple in the face, almost passing out. And I mean it would happen fast. She wasn’t crying for 10-20 minutes and then turning purple. She would begin turning purple instantly. I knew I had a problem but didn’t know what to do about it at first. It took some time and knowledge of my child before I figured out a fairly effective way to help her through the emotions.


That was the biggest key in helping my daughter.

Just talking it through with her helped curb a lot of potential fits.

Example: 10 minutes before leaving the house to go to the gym… “Addy, mommy is going to go to the gym for a little bit but I will be back soon to see you. OK?” “I won’t be gone long and papa will be here to take care of you.” “Do you understand?” “I love you, be a good girl for papa.”

9 times out of 10 she may whimper a moment, give me a kiss and then settle down to watch a show or play with her toys.

This did not happen overnight though. It took a little bit of time.

In the middle of a fit I would continue to talk to her. Ask her if she needed anything. Explain to her the fit was making her choke and cough and sometimes throw up (yes she would throw up from this!) I would tell her to use her words to tell me what she wanted instead of crying.

I have read lots of articles and heard advice on what to do when your child throws a fit. Things like walk away and leave them in an other room. Or Ignore it till they stop. There was one problem.

She never stopped. Never.

Apparently my daughter did not read the advice.

She would go on and on for over an hour. Ear shattering, loud.

If I walked out of the room she would follow and almost smash her head on something because she was light headed.

When I explained to her what I was doing and why, things became much more bearable. She just turned three and she has had one fit in the past month and a half.

Oh and I am a big fan of rewarding good behavior at this age. I praise her verbally and will give a treat on occasion. This helps reinforce the kind of behavior I want to see in her. Instead of dwelling on the bad all the time.

How do you deal with a child when they throw a fit? Any tricks or tips you found that worked well? Let me know.

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