Do You Speak Too Freely?

I don’t know about you but my mouth has gotten me into all kinds of trouble. It has for years and will probably continue to do so until I have completely mastered it. LOL

Let me ask you this. Have you ever been in a situation where you know you should just leave it be, just not say anything. You give yourself a pep talk about doing the right thing and just keep quiet, don’t respond, let it go. Then that person,the one you are not going to speak to, walks in the room and you just word vomit all over them. It all comes out, everything. I mean every single thing.

What happened?

Speech is spiritual that is what happened. The bible talks about the tongue being set on fire by hell. That is no joke. So, when you decide to do right in your speech, it should not surprise you when it becomes difficult to follow through with your resolve.

With that said, do you think you speak too freely? Our country is blessed to be protected in our speech. Because of that freedom, we have an open forum to discuss various topics and take all kinds of sides. But what about on an individual basis? Can we be too free in our speech as an individual? I think we can. Just because we can speak, does not always mean we should. If we have no control over our mouth and just let it say anything and everything that pops into our hearts and minds, we can do a lot of damage. And not just to other people but to ourselves, to our character as a person.

As a youth, I took great pride in speaking openly. I was not overly concerned with the effect I had on people, regarding the words I spoke. That is a mark of immaturity. When I became a Christian, as a teenager, it was not long before I noticed the mature people around me had a handle on their mouth and what they said. There is a direct correlation between speech and maturity.

Ever since that day when I saw the connection, I have been working to gain this skill. It has been an uphill battle but one that has a big payoff. Well worth the effort.

People who speak too freely tend to…

– Change their minds just as quickly. They constantly shift around and cannot be held to any one view-point.

– Respond more emotionally rather than logically

– Cannot keep something to themselves for very long, not good secret keepers

– Frequently gossip and speak about others

– Be involved in what our modern generation calls ‘Drama’

– Have shallow friendships. Meaning they have no issue dropping a friend over the slightest issue or disagreement.

– Struggle in forgiveness but would rather talk about how someone wronged them rather than make it right.

Now this is not a comprehensive list. Nor am I saying everyone who speaks freely is like this. These are just observations I have made in my own life. That includes what I have noticed in myself and what I have seen others do.

On the other hand a person who has a good control of their tongue and the words they speak tends to…

– Keep themselves out of ‘Drama’

– Have long-term and deep relationships

– Seek reconciliation quickly

– Forgive and do their best to put it behind them

– Not smear a person’s name or drag a name through the mud

– Respond slowly to something. They think before they speak.

– Not jump into other people’s conversations and join in gossip

– Keep secrets. People can confide in them knowing it will not be shared publicly

– Have strong convictions and know where they stand on issues.

So… How do we get from list one to list two?

Prayer plays a huge part in developing a mature tongue. In my case, I was not even aware that my speech was like a loose cannon ball.

– Ask God to show you the weak areas in your speech

That will help bring an awareness to your habits. When I saw what I was doing, it motivated me to want to change.

– Ask God to help you catch yourself before you speak.

One tip that I found helped a lot was to make myself stop and think before I spoke. Do not be so quick to have to say something; especially in a volatile situation where emotions are running high. Step back and really think about what you are going to say before you say it.

– Ask God to help you be the first person to seek reconciliation.

Instead of asking God to make them feel bad or asking God to make them say sorry first. You need to step up to the plate and do the seeking. That is a major mark of maturity. It also takes a lot of humility to do. A humble person is not concerned about their pride; they are concerned for the relationship.

Taking those three steps and allowing God to work in your speech will really help you in the long run. I know it has helped me and while I am not where I want to be, I am constantly making progress.

What are you thoughts? Do you have any tips for taming your tongue? I would love to hear them.

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